Another Deployment

It is funny how when it is time for deployment it seems like they just got home. We are gearing up for yet another deployment to Iraq, and when we watch the news all we hear about, is how everyone is coming home.
It is even worse because I have to be strong, I have to show him I will be ok while he is gone. We don't cry on front of our spouses, we excuse ourselves and go to the bathroom. As we sit in church, we turn our heads as the tears roll down our cheeks because we realize that in a week or two our husbands wont be sitting next to us. We know that the first time we have to sit alone in church is almost harder than anything else we have to do. For me, I have to look up at the drum set and not see my husband sitting there, or watch someone else playing "his" drums. There are so many things you do together, but there are those few things that you ALWAYS do that are harder than most.
We went grocery shopping yesterday, that is the one thing, other than church, that I had the hardest time with during the last deploment. My kids would have eaten cereal every night if it wasn't for a few of my friends. I have such a hard time shopping without my husband, it is just something I associate with him, we have always done it together. Most men would cringe if they had to go grocery shopping, but my husband goes, or we go together.
How do you survive the things that make you feel empty while they are gone? Thank goodness there are only a few of them. I remember one day during his last deployment I just felt like I couldn't deal with him being gone anymore, and I was in bed. I was praying, and crying, because we all know that as a military spouse we cry a lot. God answered my prayer and I felt his arms around me, it was comforting, and something that I so desperately needed, at that time. God answers prayers, when we need them the most. I know that I will be fine, and I will pray a lot again. I know there are a lot of other wives going through this with me, and they feel the same way that I do. They dit in church on Sunday morning just like I do, wishing that their husbands were by their sides too, and they will be, just not today or tomorrow. We have to let them do what they have to do, my husband wouldn't be the man that he is if he wasn't serving his country, and he is definately a good man. I wouldn't love him if he wasn't.