Another day, another prayer sent up. I know he couldn't be in better hands. It is like a party at my house everyday because I am afraid to be left alone to much with him because I am afraid that I will lose it in front of him and he just doesn't need to see that right now. I want him to leave me being strong. The ROCK for the kids. So I am finding things to keep us super busy so there is nothing to just sit around and let my mind wonder and thing about it to much.
I do love our church, I know I wouldn't make it without them, when they layed they hands on my husband and prayed over him, I could just feel the love pouring over him. We truly have this amazing family, that loves us, surrounding us here. We couldn't be more blessed. But I know that when I am sitting in that parking lot watching him board that bus I will be going through that grieving proccess all over again.
I finally had the chance to sit down and explain to DH about what the feelings are that we go through when they leave. How it is that we feel. How our life is exactly the same, that we do the same thing everyday, that it is almost like they die when they leave. That we actually have to go through a mourning process when they leave. It is because our lives are exactly the same as if they had died, other than the fact that they can call us. We become single parents. They don't go through the same mental seperation that we do because everything in their lives changes, they have nothing stays the same for them. They don't have they same surroundings, they don't do the same activities. Everything is almost the exact opposite for them, they have hardly anything there that reminds them of us over there, they don't do anything there that reminds them of us. While we are over here, washing dishes, or going to the grocery store and thinking of our DH. I try to reboot my life when my husband leaves and it totally irritates him, he thinks that I am trying to forget him, which is what I am trying to do, but not in the way that he thinks I am. I just want to help myself not dwell on missing him.
I think that, that is the best way to not focus on them being gone for as long as they are going to be gone.
Being busy does make the time go by faster.